The Buck Stops Here

Well hello there

2011-07-11T04:22:00.003-04:00

Yes I know I haven't been here in like 7 months...sooo much has happened since my last post. I am pregnant...again. Its a boy....again. Yup 4 boys coming to a crazy house near you!!

Matthew graduated preschool. I held it together for the most part. He is working hard on summer reading (with alot of help)

Andrew is gearing up to start preschool. He is enjoying his last few months as the middle child. He is also doing some summer reading but not as excited as his brother.

Anthony is in 24 month clothes, is walking, and has the worst separation anxiety. Perfect timing right?? Hoping he gets over his needy stage in the next few months.

Timothy is coming sometime around November 7th. He is super active, just what I need.

That's all I got for now...hope to have time to write before the little one makes his arrival : )

I am not ready!!!

2011-01-10T09:21:00.002-05:00

Well so much for having a baby, my "baby" is officially crawling. It is all flying by too fast!

Anthony is into everything and we have had to get after the older boys about their small toys, like every second of everyday. They are finally getting the hang of the fact that the baby can't play with their toys.

Andrew is turning 3 on Saturday, ugh!! He has become quite the chatter box lately. Some of the things he says just crack me up!! He is all signed up for preschool now we just need to get potty trained. Not fun but I can do this....right?

Matthew, well he has been quite the brat while home lately. According to school he is a perfect angel, but at home not so much. I would rather him misbehave at home than at school, but I would like my good boy back.

Thinking of all the people involved in the Arizona shooting.

Also sending my thoughts to Amy and Captain Snuggles over at Transplanted Thoughts

Four months later...

2010-12-13T19:08:00.002-05:00

I doubt anyone is even reading this blog at this time, I have been very negectful of you all.

Today was Anthony's 4 month appointment. He is 17 lb 13 oz and 28 3/4 inches long....yes 3 whole inches bigger than either of his brothers were at 4 months. My 5 year old is very tall for his age as it is so I have no idea what is in store for us with our newest edition. He is almost sitting on his own, and definately sleeping thru the night. At least 12 hours a night...heaven sent my boy is!!

Andrew will be 3 next month and is making progress in the talking department. He is very excited for Santa this year and is looking forward to getting "lockdown" transformer. He is all signed up for preschool next year!! Now we just need to work on our language skills and potty training and all will be well.

Matthew Turned 5 last month, such a milestone. He is growing like a weed and is now shopping in the little boys section rather than toddler....ugh. He is very thin yet very long, so even though the pants fit the leg they don't usually fit the waist. We love the adjustable waists!! He had his first friend party which was fun (but stressful for mom.) Every one of his friends came but one who was sick.

I have started working at my father's tennis club on the weekends doing desk duty. It helps with the groceries of our growing boys.

That is all for now, we are highly anticipating the holiday season around here, and hope everyone has a great holiday!!

The long awaited birth story

2010-08-23T10:36:00.002-04:00

Yes, being a mom to three has definitely taken much of my time... hence why i haven't posted anything in three weeks.

I got the call at 8:30 am to arrive at the hospital at 11 am on 8/2/10 for my long awaited induction. My mom picked up the boys at 10 am and off we went to the hospital. Got there got checked in and then waited and waited...and waited. Finally they came and took us back to our room for the evening. I got hooked up to the monitors and IV and then waited for the doctor that was on (whom I had never met but was super nice) Made sure everyone who would listen knew I did not want a c-section, that if at all possible it was to be avoided (the only reason being a true emergency) so we got the pitocin started and hung around, ate some lunch, hung around some more. Got a new nurse Katie who was the best of the best. Finally my Doctor arrives (at 4:30 pm). She breaks my water and things get moving from there. I finally give in and get my epidural at some point (I don't remember what time because this is when thing start getting heated up after a day of NOTHING) The epidural takes the edge off of the contractions and i am pretty comfortable for awhile then the pressure is getting bad...like really bad. At some point in all of this i am asked if i would allow a student to watch and of course i said yes, you have to learn some how and little did i know how much of a learning experience Anthony's birth would prove to be for them. I was also asked if I would allow another student (male) to watch. "come on in join the party" So the pressure is bad the doctor comes in and I am fully dilated and ready to push (this was about 10 PM) HERE WE GOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

With my other two babies pushing was quick and easy, not so much with Mr Anthony. I pushed and pushed and pushed, and felt like I was getting no where...I was getting tired but I knew in order to have a good old fashioned delivery this was the price to pay. Finally the doctor starts throwing on her scrubs and says after the head is delivered we are going to keep going until we get the shoulders delivered (because he was predicted to be rather large) so we go and feel the burning and the head delivers, then everyone gets all business, he is stuck. I am told to just keep pushing while my nurse climbs and pushes down on my uterus, and the student nurse pulls one leg back as far as she can. Hubby has the other leg and is in my face so that i don't see the doctors face which is apparently as white a sheet of paper and they are calling the "team" (NICU) Within a minute he is out and whisked away...Worst feeling ever is going thru all that and just laying there trying to see your own child that for over 9 months has been living in your body and now is just gone, and there are too many people and I can't even see him....I want to scream "GIVE ME MY BABY" But I am worried something is wrong so I keep asking anyone who will listen is he okay. "he's perfect" but apparently not perfect enough to find himself in my arms. I send hubby over to check on his arms, and they are fine. He is fine but still I am not holding him. As the doctor is repairing my 2nd degree episiotomy, they weigh him....10 lbs 7 oz...say what...22 inches long...seriously??? I never ever ever thought there was a person that big in there. Finally after probably an hour I am allowed to hold my prize...for a few minutes then there is a problem with me...the GD placenta won't fing deliver...so again I have to hand over my baby (to hubby this time at least) while the doctor manually extracts my placenta piece by piece...that was less than fun I will tell you...

So after all that fun and excitement I am finally able to get my baby and nurse skin to skin and inspect my perfect baby for myself...over an hour after he was delivered...the longest time of my life... Then I get to visit with my mother in law and step daughter (not what I wanted to do at all and not something I will be forgiving her for anytime soon)

Then of course because he was so large they have to take him to the nursery to check his blood sugar...so again I am without baby, moved into my new room (with MIL IN TOW GRRRR).

After another few hours Anthony is finally returned to me...and we bond together without interference. I spend many hours these days staring into his eyes hoping he knows that I am his mom and not one of the 10 million nurses milling around him in those precious first hours...

He sleeps peacefully on my chest and stops crying as soon as he is in my arms so I think he knows.

Last day of July!!

2010-07-31T08:28:00.002-04:00

Best laid plans rarely work out...today is the last day of July and we still have yet to meet our little one. I am being induced on Monday time unknown as they will call me in the am. So this weekend will be for cleaning and getting my house back together after the big livingroom cleaning/ new furniture delivery. My stepdaughter will be arriving later on today for the night. We will be spending our last days as a family of five!!

40 weeks appointment

2010-07-28T15:19:00.002-04:00

Well yesterday was a pretty sucky day. I went in for my 40 week appointment with one of the doctors in the group because my normal doc was on vacation. This doctor measured me and i was measuring at 44 weeks...she over and over stated "Kelly this baby is huge, this is a big baby, Kelly Kelly Kelly" She was really quite annoying at trying to get her point across that she didn't think i should try to have a vaginal delivery, she thought that i should sign on the dotted line and got get a c section. No way in hell and i getting a c section without giving it a good old fashion college try.

We were sent over for an ultrasound which estimated him to be about 9 lbs 11 oz. We saw his chubby cheeks, and full head of hair. Then it was back for a sparing match with the doctor who refused to induce, but would in fact preform a c section the same day (she even at one point admitted that my cervix was favorable for an induction but thought the baby wouldn't come down)

She never listened to us, she kept sprouting off her opinions, hubby got aggravated and let her have saying #1 we are sick of hearing about c sections #2 if this is such a big baby why are we not inducing or anything to help the situation.

So we left very defeated feeling very trapped my a medical community so hell bent on not allowing a mother to do what her body was meant to do.

Here is what i had to say that the doctor wouldn't listen to:

I was induced both times due to low amniotic fluid. I was never as dilated as I am right now before my inductions previously and it only took the lowest dose of pitocin to send me into labor.

My last baby was a picture perfect delivery not so much as an episiotomy, came home and felt like nothing ever happened.

The estimated my last baby to be 7 lbs 9 oz and he was 6 lbs 10 oz

i did have a 4th degree tear with my first delivery, but the head was delivered unwitnessed by the doctor and there was no perennial stretching or massage at all. The doctors and the nurses during that delivery were useless.

I know I am not carrying a baby that I cannot deliver, I am freaking 5foot 9 inches i could deliver a 10 lb baby if i had to. This is what i was made to do just let me do it!!!!

Well I did something spontaneous...

2010-07-25T19:47:00.004-04:00

Today put out very large entertainment center on Craig's List , http://boston.craigslist.org/sob/fuo/1862032843.html we bought wall mounts for our TV and accessories. This way they will be out of reach of our little cherubs.

We also bought a new couch http://www.bernieandphyls.com/2006713WD-Washed-Denim-Sofa.html and recliner http://www.bernieandphyls.com/2359MHERB-Herbal-Rocker-Recliner.html
I just wanted to add that the above furniture has stain protection (against food, drink, pet and human stains)...for five years if they can't get it out they will replace it....so we will probably be getting a new couch a year...lol.
I am getting the rug professionally cleaned this week and the furniture is being delivered on Thursday....now i have my fingers crossed not to go into labor...lol...

39 week appointment

2010-07-19T13:37:00.003-04:00

This weekend we did nothing because i am so uncomfortable and it has been so hot...I am super bitchy too so i am great company.

I called my doctor on Saturday because the movements of the baby had slowed down a ton but no one called back. So today was my 39 week appointment and we discussed the weekend and my doc was poed at whoever dropped the ball.

She checked my cervix and it has not changed at all from last week...defeated...thats the only word i have to explain how i feel...

We got put on the monitor for awhile and that was good to hear his heart beat and know that everything is going good in the womb for my stubborn little one.

Well next week my regular doc is on vacation so i will see another doctor and then be scheduled for an induction for the 3rd if i don't go by myself...so we may very well be having an august baby.

Good news of the day is my friend Ryan and his Girlfriend Christie are finally at the hospital getting induced after being overdue for over two weeks... Got my fingers crossed for a super fast labor for her as she has had a really rough pregnancy.

Hospital visits and flea bags

2010-07-16T09:51:00.002-04:00

Well I have been on a cleaning spree around this house (although you would never be able to tell because my cherubs mess it up right behind me) So in the middle of all this nesting I notice my stupid cats scratching themselves....seriously??? They have fleas...ewww. I obviously was blissfully unaware that indoor cats can get fleas too. So this past weekend we bathed them brushed them and applied some advantage. I cannot fog the house because I refuse to use pesticides around my kids and especially where any day we could have a new tiny immune system here that is not going to happen. So I have to vacuum 3x a day all the rugs and upholstery... fun times.

Well on top of all that I had been having alot of uterine activity so on Wednesday I was told to venture to the hospital to me monitored and for a cervical check. Well we got sent right back home to an unhappy house of little boys that wanted their Nana and want this baby to be born...no kidding me too!! All has been pretty quiet on the uterus front these days and my next appointment is on Monday. I am officially more pregnant than I have ever been...blah!!

So here's to Monday where I hope to have my doctor find a bulging bag a 5 cm dilation...a girl can dream right??

38 weeks

2010-07-12T13:34:00.002-04:00

Well we are down to the deadline...If this baby doesn't vacate the premises by Friday I am going to be hard pressed to talk my OB into letting me have the birth that I want. Good news is I am 2 cm dilated and she stretched me out a little so hopefully in the next 24 hours something will be happening. I have been having alot of uterine activity so I really really really hope I get this show on the road before my next appointment.

37 Weeks

2010-07-07T10:56:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I went for my 37 week appointment. I met with the third doctor in the practice. She was very nice and did my measurements. She found me to be measuring large at 40 weeks...Crap. She tries to find the heartbeat and he is moving so much (as per usual) it is a hard find but she states he is a big boy...crap. I cannot cannot cannot have a c section. Not only do i not want major surgery, I cannot stay in the hospital!! I get so homesick after one night that last time i cried the second night cause i just wanted to be home with my boys!! I cannot imagine staying in the hospital 5 days, i am soo stressed about this and i really really really hope he decides to make his appearance in the next few days. The doctor told me to not be pregnant at 40 weeks...lol...no problem.lol.

Fingers crossed this is my last blog about this pregnancy and the next time i write i have a picture of a new baby and a birth story that doesn't involve a scalpel.

36 weeks

2010-06-28T12:49:00.003-04:00

Today we went in for a 36 week u/s to check size. They are estimating he is around 7 lbs 7 oz currently and will weigh in over 9 lbs at due date. I really hope they are wrong. I would really enjoy a 7lb 7 oz baby at birth..lol.

He was sucking two fingers the whole ultrasound and one foot he was sitting on and the other he kept grabbing in front of his face...lol. He is super active. We also got a good picture of the family jewels so he is most definately a boy.

My doctor is still trying to talk me into having a c-section but i will still be holding out to see what happens.

Thats all for now...very stressed about finances right now but this too shall pass (i hope)

32 Weeks

2010-06-05T20:31:00.002-04:00

I had my 32 week appointment this week. Everything went fabulous and the baby is now head down. I go back in two weeks for my 34 week appointment. Nothing else really new other than insomnia a night and being tired during the day.

Andrew has become quite the handful suddenly and has been testing our patients on a minute by minute basis.

Matthew has two weeks left of school then he is going to be here 24/7...I love him to pieces but I love our little breaks from each other. This may be a very trying summer.

28 weeks

2010-05-07T09:24:00.004-04:00

Ten weeks to go till my usual delivery date, 12 till the one the doctor gives me...lol. Last week was not so fun when i got a really bad case of those butt things that no one talks about...OMG agony. But after trying out some OTC medication approved by my OB I am back to sitting pretty.

Monday I had my appointment and received my rhogam shot and did the glucose and anemia test. Well good news I passed the glucose test, bad news I failed the anemia test...g-r-e-a-t. As I said above things have not been easy in the bowel moving department and anyone who has ever taken any iron supplement knows that they only make the situation worse. So the next few weeks are sure to be great fun!!

In other news I finally gained weight, I am now 3 lbs over the weight I was when I got pregnant. I lost 15 lbs in weeks 6-16 so I finally gained it all back and then some. Anthony is still very active. The doctor thinks he is laying transverse (across) which isn't a big deal at this stage of the game in a couple months then he's going to get a talking to.

That's all the news around here these days!! Hope everyone has a great Mothers Day weekend!!

5 Question Friday

2010-04-23T09:10:00.002-04:00

1. What was the first car you owned?
I had my mothers old 1985 Chevy Celebrity but sold it for $300 to buy a 1998 Saturn SC2 The Saturn died in 2005 and I swear I still see the Chevy driving around town...they just don't make cars like they used to.

2. What song are you embarrassed to know the lyrics to?
every.single.show.tune.on.playhouse.disney....nausea, blech

3. Have you ever had stitches?
besides knee surgery and child birth, once from the abusive boyfriend I had before hubby...a**hole.

4. What was your first job?
Bath and Body works in the mall during holiday season.

5. Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?
Snuffy!! because he is quiet and not as loud and obnoxious as the rest of them.

Bullies

2010-04-21T14:01:00.002-04:00

Well we had our first experience with a bully today at the playground. In case I never said, my son Matthew (who is 4) is a very caring and sensitive kid. He loves his friends and truly cares about them.

Today we ventured to the playground after swimming to see one of his friends whom we don't get to see often because they go to preschool opposite days. They had a great time running together and I can't wait till summer when we can get together more. At one point Matthew came running up (with his friend right behind him so cute!!) Crying that a "kid" hit him in the nose. I soothed him and told him to make sure and use his words to tell the little boy that he didn't like being hit. Off they went playing and having fun, after a little while Matthew's friend needed to leave so we sat down to have a lunch I had packed.

After lunch they got back to playing. I always dress my boys in bright shirts when we go out somewhere so that it is easier for me to eyeball them. When chasing around two boys it is just easier that way. At one point I was watching my little daredevil (Andrew) climb a climbing structure that was a tad to advanced for him. At that point I hear Matthew yelling "NO NOOOO!!" and I look up to see another boy with both my sons arms in his hands trying to push him off and open side of the 7 foot slide. I then screamed across the playground to at least get the child's attention and to hopefully stop my child from being tossed off the slide. Then I ran over to the slide and informed the child he needed to keep his hands to himself. I took Matthew down from the slide and we walked over to Andrew and got our stuff and left. I was so sick to my stomach, no parent belonging to the child went over to him at all. I hugged Matthew so tight when we got to the car just thinking about what "could" have happened. How am I going to survive these years??!!

Eww Monday!!

2010-04-19T16:28:00.002-04:00

Well peeps its that fabulous day again!! Only this day starts school vacation...which means the teachers get a vacation and I get stuck with a very Bord preschooler who is mad that his usual routine is screwed up.

So update on last weeks baby check up. Everything is all good...going back in three weeks for my glucose test, anemia check, and a shot in the butt (Rh negative ain't it grand!!) At least at this appointment the Dr agrees with me having a natural delivery as apposed to a c section like she suggested last time. We will be getting an ultrasound at 36 weeks to check on the size and as long as its not a world record breaker we should be all good.

Granny finally checked out of the rehab on Friday and is now at home. Although her mood has gotten worse not better which is annoying the crap out of me.

Matthew had his first soccer practice, in the freezing cold rain. He did well, Andrew and I only made it 45 minutes before we retreated to the car, now they both have colds...grrrr.

The boys' room is finished with the exception of curtains a shelf and their names. The Buck should be finishing up the girl's room this week then I can get my house put back together as half of her room is in my dinning room, another part is in my bedroom and some in my livingroom....
I am so ready for it all to be settled...by then it will be time to put up the crib...lol.

So there is my little update from last week!!

Sunday Funday!!

2010-04-18T10:33:00.003-04:00

Yes I have returned!! I have had quite the busy week between doing over two rooms and taking care of my granny. Alas now I am back to updating you all!!

What better way for reentry than Keely's GTKY Sunday!!
If you would like to participate (and you know you do) you need to click on the link above and copy the questions then link back up with Keely.

1. Men's chests..hairy or hairless?
Some hair is nice, don't want to feel like I am with a prepubescent boy....lol

2. How often do you run red lights?
Once in a great while, I try my best not to usually I stop on a yellow..lol.

3. If you could raid any celebrity's closet..whose would you raid?

Jennifer love hewitt...i love the dresses she wears on ghost whisperer.

4. Would you rather have more followers/friends on Facebook, Twitter, or your Blog?
I don't really care much about quantity of followers/ friends. Almost all of my friends on Facebook I know in real life. Twitter is more celebrity other bloggers. My blog is more for myself than for anyone else I use it more for a mommy diary.

5. What makes you feel sexy?
New haircut, pedicure, and a new outfit.

6. I get excited when...........?
Andrew learns a new Phrase or word, or Matthew learns something new at school and tells me about it when he comes home. It never gets old.

7. Are you the "outdoorsy" type or more "indoorsy"?
indoorsy

8. Would you rather have your dream home or a million dollars?
A million dollars, then I could have a savings...lol.

There you have it!!

Happy Sunday!!

Moma Buck

Sunday funday!!

2010-04-11T09:15:00.003-04:00

welcome my getting to know you Sunday!! Hope you all enjoyed your weekend. My family and I had an adventure to a local minor league baseball game. We had a fabulous time and got to catch up with some peeps we don't see all that often.

If you would like to participate in "Getting to Know You" go visit Keely, and mcklinky with her.

1. What color do you wear the most?
Pink, i love pink...

2. Would you rather have $10,000 dollars or a dream vacation?
$10000 please that would be most helpful

3. Do you have a weird, quirky or unusual habit?
I have to have any trip planned before I leave the house, I think about it in my mind before I even get in my car, I am always early for everything because I over plan every little detail.

4. I really need to start..........?
stocking up on diapers...107 days till my due date.

5. What was the first blog you ever read?
I don't know probably someone in my Dec 05 birthclub.

6. Do you collect anything?
I used to collect music boxes, now not so much...just kids...lol.

7. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
13

8. Do you text/twitter while driving?
no i am so not that coordinated, if i even try to read a text i almost crash.

5 Question Friday

2010-04-09T12:33:00.003-04:00

TGIF my friends!! Welcome weekend, this week was pure bliss with the sunny warm weather we were experiencing here in New England. Alas it can't last forever being it is merely April. Today is rainy, but tomorrow we shall have the sunshine back, but not the warmth, ah well can't win all the time!! So onto 5 question Friday!!

1. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

Jennifer Garner, maybe her hubby can teach her my Boston accent, probably not since he isn't sounding much like he's from bean town anymore.

2. Did you ever go to summer camp?
Yes and I hated it, but both my parents worked so they thought it was a great idea, I went to girl scout camp where you sleep in a huge tent with beds and its right on a lake, very morning you get up and everything is dewy, I am way more high maintenance than that...lol

3. What sends you running and screaming in the other direction?

Snakes, ew gross,

4. What is something you do that drives your spouse nuts?
ummmmm...
breathing...lol.

5. What is currently your favorite song?

"it won't be like this for long" by Darius Rucker. Story of my life, these boys are growing up so fast I wish I had a pause button

Hope you enjoyed my answers!!!

Happy Friday!!

Moma Buck

the belly!!

2010-04-08T21:18:00.002-04:00

Well I was 24 weeks yesterday so about 16 weeks till my due date. Definitely feeling my baby boy in there these days. He is very reactive to the noises in the house (and the constant little people climbing on him) Hope he gets used to the noise in the coming weeks because this is one crazy house!! lol.

Thursday 5

2010-04-08T10:52:00.004-04:00

Welcome to my blog (welcome back ye' followers)

This post is all about sunshine and lollipops!!! You need to find 5 things that made you happy in the past week. Lucky for me I have had a great week!!

5. Flowers are blooming,

4. The weather is beautiful!!

3. I got to spend yesterday morning outside with my younger son.

2. My oldest son wrote all his letters and his name all by himself yesterday!!! I am sooo proud!!

1. feathered visitors...

So there are a few of the things that made me happy this week, share yours over at Mannland5.

Happy Thursday!!

Moma Buck

The Best Easter EVER!!

2010-04-05T09:56:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was such a fabulous day, weather wise it was perfection. The Bunny was able to hide eggs outside and the kids got to look for eggs outdoors for the first time. The bunny was having a little competition with Santa as the boys got this:

The only calamity of the day was the fact that the new car can drive over the old one, as we found out the hard way. Luckily everyone is okay, Andrew has a bruise on his head but other than that everyone fared quite well.

We went out to lunch with my parents and had a great time!! The boys spent so much time outside and they are already starting to get that summer time glow.

I am just so filled with love for my little growing family after this weekend, hope we can keep the good times coming we have another fun weekend planned next weekend!!

Getting to now you Sunday

2010-04-04T10:16:00.003-04:00

To play..copy the questions..answer them..post them..go to Keely's and link up.
The questions..
1. Showers or baths?
Shower if I'm lucky!! I will get a Bathtub just for me if we ever add on or move, that is one of the prerequisites, how I would love to take a bath after a hard day (we do have a tub but i would never get into it, it is kid size...lol.)
2. Do you have any crazy urges?
i have the urge to go wake up my hubby right now as he is asleep on the couch..must be nice!!

3. What is one thing we don't know about you?
Many may not know that I am an Atheist, maybe because I respect others religious beliefs and i don't usually advertise my lack of beliefs.

4. Exercise..love it or hate it?
h8 it!!

5. Do you think you have a good body image?
I did until I got pregnant 3x in 5 years...lol

6. Flour or corn tortillas?
Corn

7. How do you celebrate Easter?
We usually go to my parents for dinner, but this year we are all going out to eat because their kitchen is being remodeled.

8. Hard boiled Easter eggs or plastic eggs?
This year "the bunny" just hid plastic eggs we never got around to coloring hard boiled eggs.

He Finally did it!!!

2010-04-02T12:30:00.002-04:00

The Buck finally called the x wife to discuss the picture and Internet issues that we have been dealing with over the past week. She stated that she hasn't been on Then he also discussed my 12 year old step daughter's use of the computer specifically her myspace page see below as to what was found on there,

About me:
Igght this b she wrote her first and middle name here an i am 13 years young an lovin it! I b h8in on fakes an i h8 drama so dont b bringin it on me igght!! I aint no one who b playin round wen it comes to friends an talkin shyt bout them..... but if u mess wid me i can bring u down hard........i can b easy to get along wid or not so easy, an if u b messin wid mii friends u got a problem comin at chu. i aint taken an i aint plannan on bin taken anytime soon igght! so ima bounce atta hea fa now. Message me or hitt me up she puts her email addy. igght! peace! The best a da best- Domonique, Daneielle, Gracey, Kianna, Brianna, Sean, Ericc, Patrick, Taylor, Allison, Ryan, Sabrina, Samantha, an alot ov others but dont b gettin all pissy cause i 4got to put u on hea. Fakes- Jenna, Kristy, Samantha.G, an others!!! b glade i didnt put chu!!

The x wife agreed that that should be taken down, in the background The Buck heard dear stepdaughter say "I'll just put it back up" So with this The Buck asked to speak with the sweet child, she had no idea it was him on the phone and about pooped her britches...The Buck informed her that on Friday night everything is going to be taken care of and if she can't follow the rules she will lose everything including our support to get her into the agricultural high school she wants to go to.

I CANNOT wait for tonight...this is going to be over with once and for all, now if everyone can stay on the same page hopefully we will all survive the teen years.

Something that will probably stay with me is that she wrote on one of her myspace status messages that "my stepmom is having another baby and its another boy, i never wanted the other 2" That is going to take some huge soul searching on my part to forgive that, she has no idea how lucky she is to have siblings, she has no idea how much this would hurt them if they ever knew how she felt. I am going to be hard pressed to forgive this, and this is another case in point why children don't belong on these sites, they have no idea how bad words can hurt those around them and they have no filter.

So there is my happy day update on this ongoing situation. I know it is far from over but hopefully a step in the right direction.

5 Question Friday

2010-04-02T08:34:00.002-04:00

click the link above to head over to MamaM's blog and link up your answers.

1. Do you sing out loud in the car when you're driving?
Oh yeah although my car radio has been taken over by a DVD lately...I usually got the tunes going and the boys singing with me

2. What would you never be caught doing?
driving without my kids buckled in their car seats, it drives me nuts how many people do this for a drive "just" up the street...my kids are buckled in their seats every time the car is moving.

3. Will you go #2 in a public restroom?
yup, when you gotta go you gotta go.

4. Have you ever broken a bone?
Yup my wrist in second grade and then my foot at a dance competition sophomore year of high school.

5. Do you prefer cooking or baking?
Baking because the reward is sweeter.

Happy Friday everyone!! I will be posting a "happy" update to all the drama around here later!!!!!!!

word less wednesday

2010-03-31T09:27:00.002-04:00

Not to leave my readers out of the loop..

2010-03-30T09:43:00.002-04:00

Here is the latest on the FB drama. Pictures of my family were discovered on my husbands x wife's profile. Maybe you all don't find this weird but I find it a tad psychotic. Who in their right mind would put pictures of their x husband his wife and kids on their profile. What game are you playing, what are you trying to get accomplished?? I understand how some people have the kind of relationship where they are one happy family and maybe this would be acceptable. We are not those people. The x wife is the type of person who hurts her own child to get back at my husband and I. She is manipulative, but not smart enough to get away with it. She will call here screaming at my husband about a missing pair of pants or who knows what, yet two minutes later is as nice as pie. CrAzY!!!

So I just told my husband to take care of it before I do if I had to take care of it I would have drove to her house last night and "dealt with it" pregnant belly and all... I WILL NOT allow her access to my children, they are not part of her family.

So hubby knowing that he wanted to still sleep in the big bed called the MIL (who is another problem) and told her she needed to call the x and have the pictures removed. He also reiterated that he did NOT want his daughter on FB and MIL has now agreed not to allow the minor child on FB at her house.

MIL did call and talk to the x and she said she didn't know how those pictures got on there...another reason why you 12 year old shouldn't be on facebook if you are not computer savy enough to handle your own fb profile. Not that I believe her. I know there was some underhanded reason why she would have he pictures on there. I don't really care how or why they got on there, I just know they will be taken down...or she will find herself with a court order to do so.

So there is my long winded ongoing drama, now we can get back to sunshine and lollipops!

Top 2 Tuesday

2010-03-30T09:33:00.002-04:00

List two random things about yourself and then link up at the undomestic momma

1. I grew up in the house I now live. It was my grandparents and I came here everyday while my parents worked.

2. I was a cheerleader in highschool and college.

Mom and me Monday

2010-03-29T10:11:00.003-04:00

I was so happy to find this post on Steph's pretty baby blog.

I to find that I am usually the one taking the pictures and i am not in most. I am so lucky to have two boys (and another on the way), both who love me sooo much. This weekend I got so see their unconditional love after i spent two whole days away dealing with my grandmother's surgery and recovery. There really is nothing like coming home after a trying day to two little faces poking out of the screen door yelling "MOMA!!!" They are THE reason I can get up everyday, even after the past couple of weeks have not been so rosy around here, they still give me the joy I need to get through this day.

I am really into scrapbooking...in my spare time. So, i am really into printing out a bunch of pictures and buying lots of stuff in plans of making scrapbooks...lol. Matthew is likes looking back at his books to see himself and all his "faaaamaaaly" He love to try to put the pieces together as to who belongs to who like some huge matching game. I love this boy is is such a lovey and he is loves to talk about family relationships and putting it all together. He makes the perfect oldest child as he will be the one to keep them all together when the day comes that I am not around.

Here we are at NH Motor Speedway participating in our family past time, NASCAR!!

Another Monday!!

2010-03-29T09:48:00.002-04:00

Well after a long weekend of trying to do everything I am spent. I really don't know how much emotionally I can take.

My grandmother was totally out of it yesterday. Understandably so because of the very strong narcotics she was on, but it is still so draining to deal with the confusion, and totally silliness. She was yelling at my dad and me all day saying that we were hiding the boys in the hallway from her. Finally she came around to the fact that it was the medication but now she is embarrased and keeps dwelling on it. Can you say draining....????

Then this AM I find the facebook page I had deleted last week back up. I again wrote to facebook to have it deleted, and also wrote hubby and email hoping he will do the right thing...I. can't. do. it. any. more. I am sooooo drained.

Updates!!

2010-03-27T07:51:00.002-04:00

I have been MIA because on Thursday my 82 year old grandmother had a hip replacement about an hour away so yesterday I was in the hospital making sure she was doing everything she needed to do. The hardest part is getting her to understand that she needs to ask for pain meds as soon as she feels pain and not when she can't stand it anymore, or wait till the nurse comes in as not to bother them. But other than that she is doing well. It was a very long day. I rewarded myself by going to a pocketbook party and buying a new "coach".

Facebook "drama" update. Thankfully the people at Facebook have more sense than certain parents and have delete the underage profile. Now onto July when she will be 13 and then we get to deal with that. I think hubby is upset at me having the profile taken down, sorry maybe one of her parents should actually pay attention, I am not going to sit back and let it leak into my kids life so we all know what my full time job will be once "I" decide when to allow my children to use the Internet. I can tell you they won't have a facebook page at 13 14 or 15 that's for sure.

Andrew had his follow up for his frenectomy, everything looks great!! We also discussed with our dentist what he could do if Anthony is born with the same thing. He said he can do it right away so that made me so happy. Andrew had a really hard time nursing and no one could tell me what was wrong that I gave up after 6 weeks because we were all starting to lose a grip. Well this time knowing what it was, (we found out at Andrew's 1 year dental check up that his upper lip could not flip open like is necessary to get a proper latch.), we will have it taken care of immediately and be able to nurse right away...wooohoooo!!!!

Well I am off to catch up with the boys. I missed them desperately yesterday.

Stressed beyond...

2010-03-24T14:41:00.004-04:00

This week I am not filled with sunshine like I usually am...

I found a very disturbing thing last night that has sent me into a pure panic and anxiety ridden state. My step daughter whom I don't often speak of because I don't usually have anything nice to say about her situation. She is 12 years old. She has a facebook page, this is #2 after I wrote to facebook and had the first one deleted. My husband and I specifically forbid her to have a page yet her mother (who is a whole other post for a whole other day) has again let her have a page. My husband chooses not to "get involved" because in the state of MA you basically have no rights as a father. Well last evening I was browsing her page which is filled with the most unbelievable content for a 12 year old when i came across pictures of my 4 year old son...on her page. Needless to say i am livid, The Buck and I argued about it...I really don't feel there is much more i can take from this situation. I feel I have failed to protect my children from this mess. I am sick. I did not sleep. I cried most of the early morning hours. My job is my boys, to will defend them to the end. I do not want the unsavory people that my husbands x wife hangs out with and allows around her child to have pictures of my child. So this weekend is sure to be fun fun!!! I can hardly wait!!

a little post about my fab day yesterday!!

2010-03-23T08:11:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was the worst Monday on record...

Matthew was sick with a fever and cough on Friday, then Andrew came down with it on Sunday. Matthew has this super immune system where he has never really been sick and I think the last time he had a fever he was 6 months old. so with that in mind the rest of us are shaking in our boots wonder what this illness is that managed to knock him down (even though it was only a day). So yesterday was day two of Andrew having a real fever that needed Motrin (I don't usually give any meds unless the fever is over 103 and it was 103.6)

So I get up and it is rather cold so I jack up the heat. The Buck gets up to inform me that we are out of oil (again). So now I have to get on the phone with my oil delivery peeps to have the oil delivered pronto. Off I go in my jammies to bring Matthew to school with sick child in tow because conveniently hubby took the car seat out of his car. I get to the school late which I hate and then fly back home to make sure i am here for he delivery...no delivery happens Andrew is snuggling with me because he is "chilly Moma"...head back out to pick up Matthew (still in my jammies). Come home delivery gets made during lunch but then the driver leaves and doesn't come in to prep the burner so its still not on...remember I have a sick kid who is "chilly moma". I am not happy.... Finally they call to tell me another gentleman will be out within the half hour to prep the burner...he comes does his thing and lo an behold we have heat.

Matthew was horrible all day. H was extra mean to his brother. At one point hit him in the face with a football. This makes sick child cry then cough and gag and puke all over yours truly (still in my jammies)...perfect!! So we both get changed Matthew gets to go to his room.

Hubby was really late coming home from work and thankfully brought pizza...there was no way I could cook...while waiting for hubby, Matthew hits Andrew in face with book gets sent to room and falls asleep till morning...Here we are a new day and its got to be better, right??

Making Friends Monday!!

2010-03-22T09:57:00.004-04:00

Welcome Friends!!

Spring edition:

1. Favorite things about Spring:
no coats, i am so sick of buckling in two boys into car seats with big bulky coats on...just think next year there will be three to buckle in...oh boy!!

2. What I'm doing for Spring Break:
probably zoo, playground, catching up with my playgroupies who have different schedules because of preschool

3. Favorite Spring flower:
lilacs and tulips...

4. Do you have a garden?
not this year since i am not supposed to dig in the dirt when preggo...but i will as soon as this baby factory closes.

5. If so, what do you grow.
I grew tomatoes, carrots, and cucumbers...i planted peas and green beans but they never grew.

6. Do you do Spring cleaning?
that will be called nesting...lol

7. What is your weather *really* like right now? {Just b/c it's "officially" spring, doesn't mean that it feels like it for some of you}
Well for the past 7 days it has been in the 60's but today it is gloomy and rainy and chilly...oh well what can you do its New England.

8. Snapped any weather related photos lately? Share one with us!

its all about the hair cut!!!

9. What's your favorite thing to do on a sunny afternoon?
go to the zoo we are members so it is free 9with our membership, we go every other weekend when the weather is nice

10. Favorite TV show right now?
AI, pacific, dwts...other than that same old shows, house, medium, ghost whisperer, southland, and cold case.

Getting to know you Sunday!!

2010-03-21T09:54:00.004-04:00

Head over to Keely's, an link up for a fun Sunday blog hop.

1. What year did you graduate high school?
1995
2. What part of your body do you neglect the most?
currently my hair...almost a year since my last hair cut.
3. Beach house or Lake house?
Beach house
4. Mac or PC?
PC
5. Did you wear braces?
four long painful years
6. If you could be one person for a day..living or deceased..who would you be?
Michelle Duggar..lol.
7. How many times have you moved in your life?
not counting college, three.
8. Would you rather cook or clean?
cook.

5 Question Friday

2010-03-19T09:18:00.002-04:00

What are you waiting for...go link up!!

1. Have you ever had a celeb sighting?
Geraldo Rivera played at the tennis club my Dad runs in the summer...other than that not so much

2. What temperature do you keep your house?
70

3. Do you notice dust at other peoples homes?
no my house is dusty enough for everyone else..

4. What's the worst job you ever had?
working security overnight while caring for my two kids during the day...not fun!!

5. What is your most sentimental possession?
My Nana's 50th wedding anniversary ring. I hope to have a daughter someday to pass it down to but things aren't looking too promising...lol.

Had my 20 week appointment today...

2010-03-15T13:21:00.002-04:00

Everything is looking great, my thyroid is back to normal, my weight is increasing but not too fast, and the babies heart rate was right on target.

I have one bone to pick with the medical profession...c-sec c-sec c-sec...I will not have one....period (of course unless the baby is breach or either of us are in real trouble.)

With Matthew I had a very big laceration. With Andrew I had none. Due to the laceration on the first delivery they ideally would like me to have a c-section in order to stop the possibility of it happening again, and the possibility of me becoming incontinent. Where I don't take these fact lightly, I feel like i have already proved that I can deliver a baby without tearing if I have an attentive doctor who is aware of the situation... so there is my rant. I will not have a c-section just because I "might" tear which "might" cause me be incontinent...Recovery last time was so easy to have to recovery from major surgery with three babies in the house...not gonna happen.

So everyone cross your fingers that my doctor agrees with me.

Getting to know you Sunday!!

2010-03-14T10:16:00.008-04:00

Just copy the questions..post them..and come back here and link up..

The questions..

1. What's your favorite Easter candy?
cadbury mini eggs, candy and chocolate...delish

2. Who do you think is cleaner..men or women?
Women
3. Which do you prefer..wordy blog posts or ones with pictures?
i like comical blogs, but pictures are fun too
4. Were you popular in highschool?
no
5. What's your bra size?
in real life, 34c, right now who the heck knows...38 DD and growing..
6. How many states have you lived in? One Massachusetts
7. What's one blog you read every day? The Crayon Wrangler, she is a little ahead of me (by months) so i am listening to her humor with dealing with three kids under 5....cause come July that is going to be me.
8. Peanut butter or Nutella?
peanut butter, only because it is much more versatile...i heart nutella as well but its just not as good with banana on my sandwich.

Six word saturday

2010-03-13T09:45:00.002-05:00

Describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. then head on over and link up!!

Spending the weekend with my boys!!
After being spoiled with fabulous weather this week we will be all stuck inside for the next three days!!! Rain (more than we have gotten since spring 2006)and a Wind advisory for 50 mile an hour gusts. Oh boy this is gonna be fun!!!

I Heart Fridays

2010-03-12T10:11:00.002-05:00

Welcome to my blog fellow Friday followers, I look forward to exploring your blog!!

This weeks friday follow brought to you by:

5 Question Friday

2010-03-12T09:57:00.002-05:00

Head on over to Mama M for 5 Question Friday and link up. Then you can go blog a hopping to see everybody's answers!!

1. How much time do you spend on the computer a day? 2 hours I have cut way back. I check my blackberry for FB and Tweets but other than that I have scaled back my surfing in the past few weeks in favor of snuggles and reading stories.

2. Will you pay for your children's college or raise them to pay for their own way? i would love to pay their way but with technically 4 kids so far to pay for (I have an 12 year old step daughter that we will no doubt have to foot the bill for since her mother hasn't had a job most of her life.) They will have to get some loans and then we will help then once they get out of school.

3. Have you ever been in a car accident?
a few minor fender benders, never be seriously hurt.

4. What is your favorite book?
what to expect when expecting...lol I have a very well worn copy.

5. Do you make your bed everyday?
nope but i do before i get in at night...lol

Half way there!!

2010-03-11T12:43:00.004-05:00

So i have finally reached the half way point of my pregnancy...never thought it would happen this time around with how bad i felt for those 10 weeks. But here i am in the home stretch feeling the little kicks around every corner. This is one active baby and I am so glad he stuck around during all the "fun" of weeks 6-16.

Yesterday Andrew went in for his laser frenectomy (removal of some of the muscle fiber holding his upper lip to his gums) I couldn't go because out of the two of us Bucks who could stand the possibility of burning flesh smell, it wasn't me. I stayed home to pick up Matthew from preschool. It was the longest 45 min of my life until i got the call from the Buck saying all went well and there was very minimal pain. He is absolutely fine, it looks disgusting and like it hurts but it hasn't bothered him one bit. I have already noticed some clearing of his speech, and more willingness to talk. I am very pleased with everything thus far.

Getting to know you Sunday!!

2010-03-07T10:03:00.002-05:00

Head on over to Keely's place and check out her very first vlog, and link up for this Sunday's fun..

1. Are you more of a talker or a listener?
More of a talker everyone except Andrew is in my house...probably why he doesn't talk much.

2. Bra. Underwire or wireless?
Wireless...but only since i had kids...the wireless can even be uncomfortable nowadays...maybe when i am done birthing or feeding babes i can go back to some great push up action..because i am probably really really gonna need it..lol

3. I wish I was.....?
Younger...lol...and knew what I knew now..

4. The Academy Awards are on tonight..will you watch?
Depends on what else is on.

5. Do you put your deodorant on before or after you get dressed?
usually after so I don't get the white marks...even if its says it won't it usually does.

6. Would you rather do the dishes or clean toilets?
dishes

7. How much did you weigh at birth?
7lbs 6 oz

8. If you could only buy one thing for the Spring/Summer season..what would it be?
a gazebo for my unshaded back yard..it gets so hot out there with no shade.

I am off to enjoy the sun and 50 degree weather!! Have a great Sunday!!

Science museum

2010-03-07T09:40:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we ventured out to the Museum of Science Boston. We took everyone along and only had to pay for one child to get into the exhibit halls and for all of us to go to the Omni Theater. Our Membership to a local zoo got the rest of us in for free. First we ventured over to see dinosaurs as this is what the boys are into at the current moment.

We then went and explored space,

Here is one of my not so little baby exploring the archeology table.

We ventured over to the egg hatchery where we sat;

and sat;

and sat;

and finally....

Saw a baby being hatched...

Matthew and Daddy went on the simulator which blasted them off into space :

The boys enjoyed the discovery center, which is made just for kids under 6 to explore

They have this awesome water table/ volcano thing that they spent a good 30 minutes playing at

We took in a movie at the Omni Theater. The Name of the movie was "Dinosaurs Alive" but it was mostly about how they dig up dinosaur bones and fossils...not too exciting for my little guys although Andrew seemed to really enjoy the show where Matthew cried thru most of it... but when it was over he stood up ans said "Wow that was a great show" seriously...I wanted to kick him.

We got souvenirs at the gift shop and then headed home before we turned into pumpkins...

1 year ago

2010-03-02T08:24:00.002-05:00

1 year ago today:
I was blisfully unaware that a piece of me had died. A friend had passed in his sleep at 30 years old his life had ended. He was a quiet caring man. We had not spoken since 2005 when I was pregnant with my son, Matthew. There was no fight, just life got in the way and neither made the effort. Now he is gone and will never meet my children or know of the new me. Today is to be a tough day for his family. He is gone but not forgotten!!

Rest easy my quiet friend.

Jason Robert Fawcett March 9th 1978- March 2nd 2009

Getting to know you sunday!!

2010-02-28T10:11:00.003-05:00

Join us for a fun Sunday

1. Would you rather bungee jump or sky dive?
Sky dive...all that bouncing up and down not so much
2. When using a public restroom to you squat over the seat or sit?
definitely depends on the state of the bathroom...but doing the hover thing is getting harder and harder the bigger my boy gets.
3. Favorite flower?
Tulip
4. Pedicure or manicure?
Pedicure
5. How many siblings do you have?
0, hope you peeps with sibs know how good you have it...lol.
6. Do you pee in the shower? (gasp!)
Yes, and when i sneeze or cough or laugh...love saggy pelvic floor muscles..
7. Bikini, tankini, or one piece?
one piece
8. Where do you hate to shop at, but go there anyway?
stop and shop in my town..it is sooo gross but i can't drive 1/2 hour for every little thing so sometimes I have to go there.

you know you are gonna run on over to Keely's blog and link up! click here:

5 question Friday

2010-02-26T09:26:00.003-05:00

Its time for 5 question friday so head on over to Mama M and get linked up!!

1. Do you sing karaoke? If so, what is your go to song?
Not anymore but back in my single days I was a big fan of having many cocktails and singing me some Pat Benatar

2. What is your favorite coffee drink?
Blueberry Ice Coffee from the dunks

3. If you could choose your own name, what would it be?
something that means something...I am all about names having meaning and mine was just like picked out of thin air.

4. Were you ever bullied?
every.single.day. my nicknames included Alpo and Horseface...yup school sucked but once high school was over life gt much better and I really think getting picked on gave me my thick skin and helped me in life.

5. How often do you eat fast food?
every couple of weeks, keeps the system greased...lol

Yes we are three for three!

2010-02-25T17:38:00.003-05:00

We will be welcoming baby Anthony in July. We went for our long awaited ultrasound and got to see all the parts. He is measuring a week ahead at 9 OZ. I am okay with it even though I really wanted a baby girl, I am counting my blessings that I have three healthy boys. We are going to try one more time for a girl. My oldest son Matthew is not happy but is coming to grips with it. He was very very upset but is now just saying he really wanted a baby girl...lol he is such a love!!!
Here is picture of our newest bundle.

wednesday wrap up

2010-02-24T12:26:00.003-05:00

Since I need to keep busy today in order to make time fly by for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a huge day for our family. We are having an ultrasound and hope to find out we are having a healthy baby, and hopefully they can tell us the sex of the baby. So I am going to update you all on the new things going on around our house...

Andrew had a huge break thru yesterday during Early Intervention. When asked what he wanted for lunch he said "um hot dog". He got a hot dog for lunch for sure. He doesn't answer questions well. He is very stubborn and only talks when he wants to and if you press him to talk he clams up so having him answer and open ended question like that was huge. Last evening he took his pajamas and diaper off twice after he was put to bed. The is a milestone he needed to reach just wish he skipped it..lol. This AM he was in the livingroom again sans clothing...he's lucky he's so cute!!

Matthew is doing so well at school. Everyday he learns something new and is eager to share it with us. Over the past few months he has taught us about Dr king, everything your would ever need to know about Dinosaurs, President Lincoln, Lady bugs, and butterflies. He amazes me everyday. He is still very loving and snuggly. He is very much looking forward to the new baby. He has finally come to terms with the fact that it may not be a girl. He is still holding out hope that tomorrow we will find out his wish has come true. He is signing up for soccer on Friday which will begin in April. He is really looking forward to it.

Baby #3 is growing (or I am growing...lol) I feel definite movement every day and my nausea is almost all abated. I have been having some bouts of insomnia but did get a good nights sleep last evening so I am hoping that after the stress of tomorrow is gone I will be able to sleep soundly. I will update you all tomorrow on the results of my test!!!

Sunday funday!!

2010-02-21T10:10:00.002-05:00

Its that time again for a little Q&A

The questions..

1. How often do you wash/change your sheets?
when we think of it every two weeks mostly.

2. When is your birthday?

Sept 20th, and i will be turning 29 for the fifth time this year!!

3. Have you ever met a bloggy friend in real life?
Yes a couple

4. Brad Pitt or George Clooney?
Pitt

5. If you could change one thing about your body what would it be?
I would be hairless...I hate body hair especially now because these pregnancy hormones are making my hair grow at an alarming rate

6. How often do you wash your hair?
Every other day

7. Do you have pets?
Two 9 year old cats, and 5 fish

8. How many social networks do you belong to..if you had to give up one, what would it be?
three and I would give up my space as i never used it anymore anyway

5 question Friday

2010-02-19T13:44:00.002-05:00

1. Have you ever hit an animal with your vehicle?
Unavoidable squirrels and rodents, I did have a person walk into the side of my ambulance back in my EMT days..not my finest three days waiting to see if I kept my job...luckily I was not found at fault.

2. When you see a string on your clothes do you pull it off or cut if off?
pull it #1 I can never find my scissors when I need them #2 my kids always find the scissors when i am using them

3. Did you have your own room or share a room when you were young?
I was a lonely only so I had my own everything :(

4. Would you rather wear the same thing for the rest of your life or eat the same thing for the rest of your life?
Wear the same thing

5. What was your favorite TV show as a child?

You Can't Do that on Television

Never thought i would say this

2010-02-18T08:38:00.004-05:00

I hate school vacation... I was always of the mind set that school was too long and I would rather have my children home with me. Well let me tell you this week has been long and hard. My four year old is mad he has no school this week and my two year old is mad he doesn't get his usual alone time. I am sick of being stuck in the house with no vehicle. I feel like all I have done for the past few days is yell...Luckily my Mom is taking us out today so we will be getting out of the house...

So this is why you all have not hear from me this week I have been in the corner rocking back and forth saying "take me to a happy place"....lol.

Friday Follow

2010-02-12T09:08:00.002-05:00

I got this link from Masshole Mommy. Click on the link above and follow the directions to meet some fab bloggers!!

TGIF!!

Snow day!!

2010-02-10T10:24:00.002-05:00

Well today school got called off because of an impending snow storm. It is now 10:30 and the snow is just starting to fly...poo. I won't be going anywhere because we are still down to one car. The Buck is going out looking at crappy cars Friday.

When I was in school we had school it never got canceled..ever. We had to walk up hill both way in two feet of snow...lol. Kids these days have it so good.

In other news, Captain Phil of The Deadliest Catch Passed away yesterday. We had the pleasure of meeting him and Capt. Jon at a waterfront festival a few years ago. Our families thoughts are with his family.

16 Week OB Appointment

2010-02-09T10:33:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I had my 16 week OB appointment. We brought along Andrew (2 year old) to let him hear the heart beat. All was well. I gained back 4 of the 15 that I lost. Everything was perfect except my Thyoid so the tested it again. I have to make sure to take my zophran 3x a day even though it doesn't sem to do anything. Other than that nothing new.

I have my Bio Physical Ultrasound two weeks from Thursday. Not that i am counting down or anything..lol. I am dying to know what I am having. Next appointment after the U/S isn't till March 15th. I will be more than half way at tht time!!

Not Me Monday...

2010-02-08T12:22:00.002-05:00

Well after a weekend of doing absolutely nothing, here is Not Me Monday.

I did not spend the entire weekend on the couch ticked off at the world because we have to buy another car because Hubby's engine went on his, nope not me. I would never let such trivial things bother me when I am so lucky otherwise.

I did not splurge on a book at the grocery store only to have it all read by saturday evening, nope not me. I always take my time and scour each page for any symbolic meanings. (it was Nicholas Sparks Last Song TBW, good read)

I have not spent the weekend eating chips and dip, crackers and cheese, and mozzerela sticks just because that what I felt like, nope not me. I always eat the healthiest things to nourish my unborn child. (funny thing is I usually do but this nausea has me eating what ever feels good)

Now that I have that off my chest why don't you click on the link above and tell us all the less than stellar moments you have suffered thru this week.

Super Bowl Sunday Funday!!

2010-02-07T09:35:00.004-05:00

The questions..

1. How many piercing's do you have? five, two in each ear and a belly button piercing that never closed.

2. I love the sound of.....? Little feet running down the hall in the morning

3. Favorite city? San Diego

4. Colts, Saints, or could care less? Who? Seriously the Saints.

5. Frozen yogurt or ice cream? Ice cream if your gonna go for it just go for it!!

6. Favorite appetizer? Spinach and artichoke dip with chips at Applebees

7. What item in your closet currently makes you the happiest? New maternity pants and shirt

8.Favorite facial moisturizer? Eucerine face body whatever its multi purpose...

You know you wanna have some fun too...post your own sunday funday and click on the like above an post your blog in the list!!

you are my sunshine!!

2010-02-03T18:47:00.002-05:00

Thank you to Robin over at Masshole Mommy for passing on the Sunshine blog award to me. She knows me IRL and still gave it to me so that must mean something. LOL.

I got to come up with ten peeps to pass it on to, I don't think I know 10 blogger peeps..but here goes.

1. The crayon wrangler at http://coloringoutsidetheline.blogspot.com/ Because she is a very funny lady and we have "known" each other going on five years now. She gives me a chuckle everyday.

2. kelly at http://diaryofamadwomann.blogspot.com/ because she takes kick ass pictures and one that is right beside my bed of my boys brings me sunshine every morning.

3. Amanda at http://acsmith3984.wordpress.com/ because she has some seriously frugal tips and saving money puts a smile on my face.

4. Mckmama at http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ because after almost losing her son to the same heart condition I suffer from she still has so much faith in her God, it facinates me.

5. Lisa at http://bostonbabypeterson.blogspot.com/ Because she is my long lost friend and her daughter is the cutest thing.

6. Kate at http://www.bustedplumbing.com/, I just started following her when she guested on Masshole Mommy and she is hysterical.

7. Heather at http://www.dooce.com/ because she was on Dr Phil...and she tells it like it is!!

Thats all I got for now. I gotta go find three more worthy blogs!!

Nothing Nice to say...

2010-02-03T18:21:00.003-05:00

So I took a day off yesterday because I had nothing nice to say...Not that that usually stops me but I am all about blowing some sunshine, you know.

So yesterday was crappy because I couldn't sleep a wink the night before which is annoying. To top it off I had early intervention with Andrew at 12PM...this is lunch and directly after lunch is nap time. But, nap was not to be as Granny came to visit (my grandmother also know as the grim reaper, miss negativity herself) I usually have prepared myself for her visit. She has been talking about her impending death for 10 years now...she's 82. She actually woke up ticked off on 1/1/08 because a psychic told her she wouldn't see 2008 and she did. Then there is the fact that she worries about EVERYTHING, and she cries at least three times during her visit about one thing or another. So yesterday was not a good day..lol.

Today started off okay, I didn't order the snow that we got this am but it didn't stick around for long so it could have been worse (please note: this will be the last glass half full moment for a few lines)

SO then this evening I get a phone call from the "Buck" saying his car won't start. Mind you the man works in Natick which is at least an hour away. But hey, I have AAA. Just give them a jingle and have the money pit towed home. Nope I have the card here in the 'Boro so they won't come unless he has the card in his possession. Now I am feeling a little possessed! I am gonna have to drive to Natick which will get my estimated time of arrival back home to be 8:30. Thats not including the 2 hour wait time to get a tow truck out there to us. OH boy I was sooo happy. Well as I was trying to arrange child care for the two boys, the "Buck" called to say he was getting a ride home and he would just bring the card with him tomorrow then have the car towed tomorrow. Wheeew. Thank goodness!!!

SO tomorrow will be better!! Or else we will get a noreaster who knows..lol.

Not Me Monday...

2010-02-01T10:02:00.002-05:00

I have many of Mckmama’s not me Mondays and have finally decided to participate.

Last week was a pretty unremarkable week beside the freezing cold weather. I did not stay inside for days because of the freezing temperatures, not me. I was born and raised here in good old New England and I can surely handle a wind chill of -35 that this “cold” weather makes me want to strap on a bikini.

I am not secretly happy to not have gained any weight so far this pregnancy, not me. I love to use my pregnancy as an excuse to eat poorly and pack on the lbs. I would never be secretly calculating how I may be able to get back into those size 2 jeans from my single days, not me.

I am not so ecstatic over the fact that the boys can get up by themselves and I can lazily lay around till 8 am, not me. I am always up and showered well before they wake up and would never be anything but ready to serve them every waking moment.

And last but not least I did not write how badly I wanted my MIL to leave on Saturday night on facebook after she had long over stayed her welcome, not me. My MIL and I are like two peas in a pod and I am always the gracious hostess and I am always happy to hear her stories of woe for hours on end. I would never try to use my exhaustion and nausea as a reason to not “entertain” her, not me.

So join the fun and get your less than perfect moments off your chest then link up by using the button above. Thanks for reading!!

Sunday Funday!!

2010-01-31T11:49:00.009-05:00

So taking the plunge into the blog world, usually I just use my blog as my own personal chronicle, not really meaning to have it read by others. Now that I am home full time I guess I will take the plunge into trying to drum up some readers. This is my first Sunday Funday hosted by MannMom. So why not play along. Copy the questions and answer on your own blog then click the button above to link up to her.

The questions..

1. Do you iron your sheets?

NO I don't even do the laundry that is the Buck's job!!

2. Your dream car is....?

I drive it!! I heart my 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan, it seats 7, has a huge trunk, DVD, CD, AUX, remote starter, tells you how many miles you can go till you run out of gas, when your tires are low, auto open sliding doors, stow and go seats (used for storage mostly), and heated mirrors!! The best part is I got it for a steal thanks to Grandpa helping get me a great deal!!

3. Do you have an innie or an outie belly button?

Innie for a few more months anyway

4. What meal do you look forward to the most..breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

Dinner because we try to all eat together.

5. Favorite mascara?

What is this you speak of, its been a good 5 years since i have hear this word.

6. What would you say your decorating style is..traditional, modern, eclectic, country, french country, shabby chic, etc..?

Country

7. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Nope, boring arent' I?

8. I hate the smell of...?
Anything the hubby cooks, many things that change at different intervals, I am 14 weeks pregnant after all. All time worst smell in the universe...stale cigarette smoke, that pickly smell that visits my home every weekend...groooossss.

i'm a bad mom!!

2010-01-28T10:52:00.002-05:00

All this news coverage about Haiti had me thinking what a bad mom I am. I really hope my kids are boring and never want to save the world or travel to other countries to help others. I hope they never ever join the military (I know I wouldn't survive that)

This family in Rutland, MA who were told their daughter was found only to fly to FL to find out "sorry we had the wrong information" OMG throw me in front of a train, Never ever would I handle that. And now two weeks later they are still pulling people out alive so you know they are hoping she will be found and was just stuck in her hotel room with her mini bar to survive on. (they probably don't have mini bars in Haiti so work with me) Unfortunately most likely she was killed by this 7.0 earthquake while taking a nap. How do you begin to pick up the pieces from that?

So for now I will just keep hoping my kids choose a boring self preserving profession like accountant, or tennis pro. If that makes me a bad mom oh well!!

anytime of day, strike without warning even midchew sickness.

2010-01-25T15:03:00.002-05:00

So I will be 14 weeks pregnant on wednesday, and where the morning sickness has qwelled it still sneaks up without warning like yesterday while i was enjoying shicken and fries at friendly's with our family. This is still a huge step up from where I have been in the past few weeks. We are anxiously awaiting 2/25/10 to see the baby again and to find out the sex. Matthew is convinced its a girl and said if its a boy we are sending it back. Andrew still is pretty clueless... he just learned to say baby though so its a process like everything with him always is.

Andrew is coming along with his speach and finally copies what his brother says so this is a huge step in him developing language skills.

Matthew is getting so mature and smart. He learned about MLK the other day at school. He came home and told me all about it. It was great!!

Both my boys continue to be my little luv bugs... just now as I am writing this blog them take turns coming up to kiss my hand...Love these guys!!!

A new year, a new baby!!

2009-12-29T11:53:00.002-05:00

Now that it is public knowledge that we are expecting baby #3 I can blog again. I have been so very very sick with this pregnancy which has me hoping that it is in fact going to be a girl. We have had one ultrasound at 8 weeks and will have another at 12 weeks to have a newer test that I never had with my other two. I am really excited for the 20 week ultrasound (in about 10 weeks) Then we will find out if we are having a girl or a boy...

Matthew is excited to have a baby sister...Andrew has no idea...lol.

We had a great Holiday, although very busy.

There isn't really much else going on around these parts...I am still working nights probably till the end of April when i will stop to be able to enjoy some time with my two boys before we add another baby to the mix.

my freakin friday post.

2009-11-13T17:19:00.002-05:00

oh what a week it has been...

Saturday night while at work I got a frantic phone call from "the Buck" stated one of our fawns had fallen and injured their lip. Seems Andrew fell off his brother and ripped the muscle fiber that holds his upper lip to his upper jaw. OOPS well considering we were considering (did you follow that?) having it cut anyway because of it being too tight and with his speech delay blah blah. SO with all that I wasn't too worried and told "the buck" not to call 911 till I got home. So I get home and it is pretty ripped but not bleeding so I call the pedi on call just to be sure. 45 minutes later we get a call back...nice. OF course its nothing to worry about but I did make him an appointment for Tuesday with his dentist and he was seen got lasered to promote some better healing and not a tear or drop of blood was shed...except if you count little buck crying because it wasn't his turn at the dentist..LOL.

I got sworn at for the first time at my fab-u-lous job...that made for a great week. Being that the shareholder called be a stupid bi*** i had all I could to to inform him I am not a stupid bi*** I am the bi**..

Then today on my day of leisure (funny I know) I took Matthew to a playdate after school which turned into a very uncomfortable situation where my son told his "friend" that he doesn't like him and isn't his buddy anymore. Guess we won't be getting an invite back.

So yeah I think I am going to enjoy some delivered pizza, some adult beverages, and hit the hay.

Thankful for healthy boys!!

2009-11-09T13:39:00.003-05:00

A mom of a successful blog (www.mckmama.com) is holding on today to hopes that her little one will come thru surgery. I have been following her blog since early summer and I am facinated by her faith in her god and her strength. I know I could never handle the trials she has been put through. I am so very lucky to have two very healthy boys. Our biggest trial this week is going to be Andrew getting his upper lip fixed after he ripped the muscle fiber this weekend. Can't really complain as it is far from life threatening. We are gearing up for Matthew's 4th birthday. He is doing so well in school it is amazing how far he has come in just a couple months!! I am so very thankful for both of my healthy happy boys...I definately got lucky on that end.

rascal flatts new song why.....

2009-11-05T10:07:00.002-05:00

Seriously, if you need a good cry...listen to their new song...I heard it the other night driving home....oh boy. I thought it was fitting for today seeing as how the Yankees won the world series and Jay would have been pissed...my heart still aches to see my friend again...even if i would have to watch the Simpsons.

http://www.ilike.com/artist/Rascal+Flatts/track/Why

Speach Eval update

2009-11-03T14:38:00.003-05:00

Today we had a speech audiologist come out to evaluate Andrew as his speech is still behind. In reference to expressive language he is almost caught up but his actual speech paterns are moderately behind. He has very low tone in the muscles of his jaw and tongue. This is the reason he drools constantly still. It was also seen today that he is not chewing his food corectly or using all of his mouth to eat. He is basically mashing it with his toungue instead of using the grinding motion with his teeth. So we were given alot of things to do with him to "wake" up the muscles of his mouth.

Another concern we had was his upper lip being tied down. We were thinking that he would need to have it clipped in order to form words correctly. The speech audiologist stated that she thought it would be best to not clip it as he will again have to learn how to say certain sounds again. We may get a second opinion on this as I really feel like it needs to be done. Where I don't want for him to take any steps backward as he has made great strides in the past few months, I really think that not being able to use his lip properly is causeing most of the problems. SO we have somehting to think about an go over.

The Main event!! Halloween!!

2009-11-02T12:37:00.003-05:00

We started off the morning at the corn maize and pumpkin picking at Sauchuk Farm.

We had a good old muddy time. The Maize had been closed due to all the rainy weather so we were only able to do one side of the maize as the other side was flooded. Of course our messy Andrew was the one to end up falling in the mud. Luckily he doesn't mind being muddy.

The boys were also able to enjoy a ride in the cow train...

Then we all headed on a hay ride out to the pumpkin patch to pick out our pumpkins!!

We then came home carved some pumpkins and made Halloween cupcakes. After dark the boys were able to hand out some candy to trick or treaters and then we all ventured out to get some candy for ourselves. Once Andrew caught on to the fact that people were actually giving him candy just for showing up he quickly learned to say trick or treat and thank you and then "runnn runn!!" in between houses. It was hilarious. I think Halloween is going to be Andrew's favorite holiday!! We all had a great day together in all our activities.

J-O-l-S, zoo, and back problems

2009-10-27T09:36:00.003-04:00

This weekend we had a great time at the Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular. We started off in our costumes at the zoo.

Here is Matthew, I mean Megatron, posing in front of the wild dogs exhibit.

This was the first time those guys were up and running around that we have seen them. They are huge. Usually we just see them all in a pile laying around.

Next we were on to the elephants (these are Andrews favorite animals)

The elephants were enjoying some Pumpkins. It was fun to watch!!

As you can see Andrew loved to watch them so much he couldn't tear himself away for a picture.

Here is a cute pic of Andrew in his elephant costume.

After we were done trick or treating around the zoo we headed to dinner and then back to the zoo for the JOLS (Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular)

Here are the boys patiently waiting in line. Usually there is a 2 hour wait to get in to see the JOLS but we bought out tickets early and were lucky to get in right at the start.

Unfortunately, Matthew didn't want to pose for any picture because while he liked looking at the JOL he didn't want to go anywhere near their creepy faces.

except that bribery works wonders (too bad the fog machine was there)

Andrew was the more photogenic one the the evening.

We were so happy to be able to enjoy the JOLS this year and we hope they have it again next year.

After a fun day and night of Halloween activities we were happy to go home and to bed a little later than usual. The next day was to be a busy one as well and Matthew had school and Andrew a Halloween party at Music....unfortunately my little tubby caused me to sprain my back so now I am relegated to the couch for awhile. I hope to be able to go to work tonight, but we shall see how the day goes. This is a pretty busy week for me to be injured for. You would think that after working on an ambulance lifting some gravity challenged patients I would not be foiled by a mere 30 lb toddler but this isn't the first time my little one has caused me pain. Hopefully a little rest will help me get back to my old heavy lifting self soon. After all the main event is this weekend!! And so the fun begins!!

Andrew and EI

2009-10-21T09:41:00.003-04:00

Yesterday Andrew got reevaluated for EI. Last time he was evaluated he was above on everything except for cognitive language and expressive language. He was so behind in expressive language that he was test at a 3 month level. Yesterday he tested 20 for expressive and 23 months for cognitive. Thins would mean that he is ineligible for services except that where he has no front sound words and he only says word like shark, book, and milk. these words use rear sounds so he will need more work so they are using a thing called clinical judgement in order to keep him eligible. I am so happy that he gets to stay in EI. I was really worried that he would be discharged and stay behind. So now a speech therapist must come out to evaluate him to see if there is something else we have to do. We will also get some muscle fibers snipped at the dentist to release his upper lip in order to help him be able to use it more. There is my good news of the day!!

My favorite month of all!!

2009-10-12T15:55:00.002-04:00

I love October. No one has a birthday in our family yet it is one of the most eventful months. We get to spend lots of time out doors. The humidity is gone, and you can comfortably wear a sweater. We visit the zoo in our Halloween costumes, and for a special treat this year the jackolantern spectacular is at the zoo. Then we attend Halloween Town put on by Boston Medical Center. We meet all sorts of fury characters. This years the boys are being "MEGATRON" and an elephant...maybe the last year I get to dress at least one of them up...:( There are parties at school and at Early Intervention...and then of course the big night!!

Matthew is doing very well at school this year and recently brought home a whole barn full of hand made animals that he made...He can recognize his name and is starting to catch on the writing his letters. He is still in his snuggly stage, but we are just soaking it all in.

Andrew is learning new words every day and is quickly able to communicate his needs to us. He still has bouts of frustration and he has quite the temper. He recently has started to become a little snuggle bug as well. He loves music class and food. He favorite food is goldfish crackers. He is being reevaluated for EI in a week and I hope he is still eligible. I feel he still has a long way to go but it goes by how far he is behind and i think he may be catching up.

I am still working and chipping away at our debt. Our dryer recently died so that set us back a few "bucks"

bring on fall

2009-08-29T09:22:00.002-04:00

It has been awhile since an update:

The boys are growing and growing. We have had a great summer packed with tons of fun things. We have gone to the zoo many times (thanks to our membership), the beach, the playground, friends houses, children's museums, and on a family vacation. We had great fun at Santa's village and storyland in NH. We won't discuss our luxury accommodations...lol.

Andrew is still doing the EI thing and progress is very slow. He can FINALLY say MAMA...the best word in the English language. He climbing ability is way above that of a 1.5 year old and most of the time this gets him into some type of trouble. He loves music and dancing. He is beginning to be a real fun playmate for his brother. He loves all types of food and has no problem with stealing the food right off your plate. His favorite animal is an elephant and he is becoming a pro at animal sounds. He loves the beach and even took a dip in the pool while on vacation and enjoyed that as well. He is starting to lose his baby look and look like a little boy...:( He and I are both looking forward to Sept. 9th when school starts and we can have some alone time.

Matthew is a little lovebug as of late and constantly needs a hug. He tells me he loves me 100 times a day. I am just soaking it all in because I am sure that this stage won't last forever. He is getting really tall...but no rounder he is a bean pole...lol. He makes friends easily and will and does talk to anyone. He has recently started to "read"books to himself the stories are hilarious. He talks about having bad dreams about eating cheetos or playing with his transformers but can't tell you why they are bad dreams. He recently had to go on his first ever antibiotic because he got a staph infection in his finger (maybe from the zoo, playground, beach, or home) Hopefully it will clear up without a problem before school starts. He will be returning to the learning center for year two of preschool on Sept 9th. I am really looking forward to him going to school this year.

I have started another new job. I am working at Computer Share calling shareholders for their proxy vote. It seems to be a fast paced job that is interesting and boring all at the same time. the best part is it pays well and it is evenings so I can still spend my days with the boys!! I have had a great summer with friends and the boys. I am soo ready for fall now though.

May update!!

2009-05-29T10:18:00.003-04:00

Things have been fabulous around the Buck Household these last few weeks. We have managed to all remain healthy during the BIG swine flu outbreak...oink oink. Andrew is starting to learn some signs, a few words especially bubbles. and the word to "Sweet Caroline"...so far we have gotten to BABABA!!! Hey I will take it from my little quiet one. He had his hearing test yesterday and tested perfect!! I was pleasantly surprised I though for sure he had some type of hearing issue but he responded to his name at 0 decibels so he has perfect hearing. Yesterdays early intervention went really well and he did quite a few animal sounds and signs.

Matthew will be finishing up his first year of preschool in a few weeks but will be attending camp there this summer for a couple of weeks. He is learning to write his letters and is cutting with scissors much better than at the beginning of the year. Next year he will go three mornings a week. He is my best helper and very very protective of his brother. He seems to be enjoying his brothers new voice!!

I am enjoying my new vehicle. There is so much storage space and the automatic doors are a lifesaver. I am still working a few nights a week and chipping away at our credit debt hopefully I can quit before the new year.

Rich is working hard and seems to be enjoying his new job more now. His newest project (a fish tank) is still going strong...a little too strong as the fish keep having babies and we are at a loss of what to do with them. They are very...ummm active fish as she just had babies three weeks ago and is already preparing to have another bunch in a week or so....oh joy!!

Well that is all for now!!

Andrew update and a beautiful weekend

2009-04-27T08:04:00.002-04:00

I will start with earlier info that I haven't updated:

Andrew was evaluated by early intervention. He tested 18 months in everything except cognative language (how he understands you) he tested 11 months. And expressive language he tested 3 months....I was very very taken aback by that but I am over it. He qualified for services and will be starting his home visits hopefully this week. He also had his 15 month appointment and measured 31.5 inches and 23 bls 1 oz. He is alot smaller than his older brother at this age. We also mention to the doctor about EI and a possible visit to ENT for his ears...and were balked at. Then he checked his ears and saw a ton of fluid and want a recheck in one month. If there is still fluid in one month and this doctor still does nothing....we will be changing pediatricians as this has been going on since December.

Matthew is doing well and is great help. He is signed up for preschool three days a week next year and may be going to camp in the summer.

We have had the best weather the past weekend. It seems to be holding at least till the middle of the week. We have spent loads of time outside the past few days and we are getting our summer time glow. Our week vacation is over it is sooo sad. We got to take Matthew to his first movie...we all went to the zoo and we spent alot of family time together.

In the next week I hope to get a new van, where I don't welcome another car payment this is definately a needed purchase. I can't wait to not drive the most run down car at preschool.

Well I guess that is enough of an update for now...

wow i have been slacking...

2009-04-03T11:24:00.002-04:00

Sooo I haven't written in almost a month:

Matthew is still in preschool...he got his progress report and went up in everything...does very well following directions, and making good use of his time.

Andrew is being evaluated by EI in a week to see if he qualifies for some help with his speak or lack there of.

They are both doing well and doing well at driving me insane...I love them!

Middleboro is in the shitter....some psycho raped and beat a women allegedly randomly in broad daylight last week. Then today as I was trying to go the grocery store...as I was putting my precious boys in the car I noticed a shady character walking down the street....two seconds later he was greeted at the end of my street by five police officers (who blocked my street so we were stuck in the driveway) I was later informed by one of the officers that he was breaking into one of my neighbors home...great...it just keeps getting better.

So now that is my update...gotta work tonight but will be debt free by October!!! yipeeee!!!

Moving on...Part 2

2009-03-12T16:24:00.002-04:00

Well I finally got to say goodbye to an old friend yesterday. There was a very tasteful memorial visitation that took place yesterday evening everything was very "Jay Like". I got to go out following the memorial to a hot cup of joe with a few friends to hash out some questions and catch up. I hope to get together with them again soon!!

So onto my perfect boys!!! Andrew can now high five, and is desperately trying to speak. Matthew is trying to stop sucking his thumb. We all cannot wait for another weekend to be able to run around outdoors...hope the weather cooperates.

I have an interview on Wednesday with BAMSI and I hope it works out that I can get a better paying job with hopefully better hours so my husband and I can see each other on occasion...lol. Thats all for now... just going to go make happy memories with my family.

How to move on?

2009-03-04T07:53:00.002-05:00

I don't know where to begin to move on from this. Its not like I talked to him at all in the last few years but its not like if he showed up at my door he would be greeted with anything but a huge hug. There was no fight our last meeting was actually pretty fun. I can look at the spot where he last sat in my home and remember it like it was yesterday. That doesn't keep me from beating myself up for not being there. I am not so self ritious to think that I alone could have change the course of these events...but I would have like to have tried.

I really don't know the lesson in this, what am I supposed to do now? My heart is so broken and I am just waiting to hear when we are letting you go...so many unanswered questions, so many undone tasks...so much to try to understand. So much I am sure I will never understand. Yet trying to find something good out of this has been frutile and I wish I knew where we are supposed to go from here.

for now my heart is broken , for now I will just wait to see for all of us to come together to see you off to the great unknown....and maybe together we will answer the questions of why..

" some are dead and some are living...in my life I love you more!!"

2009-03-03T08:40:00.003-05:00

I will try to make this blog make sense...even though I am a freaking bawling mess.

My Friend Jason Fawcett has passed. The details are not important. My quiet little friend is gone. We have not spoken since 2005. We have been desperately trying to find each other on different search engines to no avail. I thought for sure he was still in Maine only to find he has been right under my nose all along. Is it a blessing that I did not know him as the disease that lead to his demise? Maybe. I sure wish I would have back one of those late night chats out in the driveway....I would wash 2,000 sink fulls of dishes just to hear his laugh. I would love to awake to find him comfortably asleep on my dinning room floor (until he wakes up to find I have two cats and he is allergic...) I would walk 10 more blocks in those uncomfortable shoes to enjoy a Red Sox game with him. I would do anything to turn back the clock and know what I know now. In the next few days, weeks, months...all of Jay's Friends are going to be think what they could have done something differently to change the outcome. We couldn't. Things were in motion beyond our control and beyond our understanding.

So no more silky brown haired boy. But he will forever be entrenched in the fiber of my being as my very good friend. This blog doesn't do justice to the person you were. You had so much to offer the world...I am so sad you left us so soon. My heart is broken, I will never forget you and I hope you are now at peace...I luv you.

Snow snow go away...don't come back any other day.

2009-03-02T12:12:00.004-05:00

Yes in fact this morning I did wake up to 6 inches of the white stuff...but was I dreaming that is was just 60 degree on Friday? No in fact mother nature continues to toy with our emotions and tease us into thinking spring may come early only to find that in fact there is no end to this winter in sight. My only hope is that they may cancel the security tonight and I will get to stay home under my snuggie....

My snuggie...yes i bought into the blanket with sleeves idea after being unable to find a way to type and keep warm. I love them!!! Matthew thinks they are great to leap on the couch into....Andrew I am sure is not far behind. I am so not ready for the two climbing toddler thing but whether I like it or not (or my neighbors like it or not) Two toddlers will probably be coming to a bay window near me...hopefully clothed.

Clothes...yes neither of my boys really see the point in clothes...most of the time they walk around pants free...very rarely do they wear both pants and a shirt..as if one is enough "don't be silly mom, we are saving on the laundry bill" I guess there will be bigger fights to fight in the coming years so for today we just let them be.

In a funk

2009-02-24T20:34:00.002-05:00

I really don't know why I let things get to me. I am sooo very lucky to have what I have. I have two beautiful healthy boys. I have a wonderful loving husband who works his ass off so that I can stay home during the day with the boys. I am just having a bad day seeing as I have the crappiest car at preschool...I have to work the next three nights...and I really really want another baby but I am unsure if we should ask for another blessing right now. I am overly frustrated with the economy and the fact that every night I have to leave my boys to go sit and watch people that don't work order out every night on my dime....earned income credit they call it....WHAT?!! How did you earn that? Sitting on your ass?!! no wonder why half my husbands paycheck goes to taxes....so anywhooo....yeah having a pity party tonight while I wait to see my hubby for one night that I actually get to see him till Saturday...and he is working late..great isn't it...I hate being responsible.

Disney on Ice

2009-02-17T08:59:00.003-05:00

Yesterday we took Matthew to Disney on Ice. We all had a great time!! Matthew was so excited and got to ride the subway for the first time. Andrew stayed with Nana and Grandpa. I Highly recomend it we had such a good time. This week is school vacation week...so no preschool either...oh boy!! Tonight is my last night off till Sunday so I plan on enjoying it. Nothing else really going on around here other than Andrew driving everyone crazy with his new found climbing abilities...

Things that happen that I don't understand

2009-02-10T10:24:00.002-05:00

I have hear today of the passing of one of my school mate. I have hear many things about his life in this past week as friends were asking for prayers for him to heal from his injuries....For some reason, which I don't understand, he was not to be healed. As I understand he has two young girls who he is their sole guardian...if this doesn't account for his character and the kind of man he has become I don't know what else can. Taking care of two children is a huge job even for a married couple...to take on this alone is something I couldn't even think of attempting...As many of you know I don't believe in a higher power, but I do believe that if you do good things good things should follow for you....so to have this happen and to have these girls left without a father...to have a family who has already faced so many tragedies...I am just dumbfounded how this can happen to them again...

I will remember him as his funny goofy self and hope that everyone can keep his memory alive for his girls as they should know how much they were loved.

You never know what tomorrow will bring so hug you loved ones extra tight. I always do.

Not a baby not yet a boy...

2009-02-09T10:08:00.000-05:00

So Matthew who is now 3 years old (how did that happen?) can now dress himself....yes it is the small things that get me excited. He can also tell you if you are a person place or a thing.... He is starting to learn everyone's full names although he really wants Andrew to be a Renfrew and everyone to have the middle name Dalen. LMAO.

Andrew is still growing above and beyond...He had his first dentist appointment last Thursday and did well. They found that his upper lip is too tight to his gums and this would be the reason for our failed Nursing and his uncomfortable gas, spit up, and everything that went wrong in the first few months. This may need to be taken care of at some point but for now he is not having any issues so we will leave it alone. He is starting to use his voice more and more. He is also going thru huge stranger anxiety something I have no experience with so it has definitely been a learning experience. He has always been the sensitive one...and now he is my own personal Koala baby and a heavy one at that.

I have really been taking the time to enjoy my boys because they are just growing sooo fast. There is a country song byDarius Rucker Called "It Won't Be Like This For Long" . I cry every single time I hear it...Rich doesn't quite get it he thought it was about a guy leaving his girlfriend or something...Men?!! So ow whenever this song is on the radio I stop what I am doing and Dance with the boys...they love to dance...I love to dance with them.

I was really writing this blog as to put off cleaning the boys room...but now tha time has come...I am off.

Child neglect really pisses me off

2009-01-30T11:27:00.000-05:00

Okay so I work security at a low income housing complex. I see alot of bad parenting but last night really got to me.

A three year old was found naked covered in feces wandering around in 13 degree weather....no mother to be found just a 9 year old sister sleeping in a furniture less apartment. I am very very far from being rich but I would never leave my child alone ever....maybe when they are like 30 but not ever for any reason ever ever ever till then. Then to top off how wonderful the fabulous system works the mother returned from picking up her two children at the hospital. So basically the kids went there got fed and cleaned up and then released to thier mom to do it all over again. Yup I was soooo happy about this.

So onto my perfect and well cared for children. They are actually playing together like real play I think Matthew is really excited that he has a playmate 24/7... I think we have a little cold going around here and I am hopping to keep up the hand washing so we all don't end up being out for the count....hope I can contain the germ infestation.

Andrew's 1 year appointment and the Inaugaration

2009-01-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

Andrew had his one year appointment yesterday. His stats are as follows:

30 1/4 inches
22 lbs 5 oz

He is a quarter of an inch shorter and 1 1/2 oz heavier than his older brother was at one year lol.

Yesterday my boys and I watched all the presidential coverage. It was such a great day for america!!! My tivo worked over time. Well I am off to shower because the baby is sleeping.

1 year ago

2009-01-16T09:00:00.001-05:00

One year ago on this very day my two boys met for the first time....Words will never be able to explain or express how I felt on that day...almost as if my heart were to explode with all the love in that one room....No hint of jealousy. They are the best of friends, they couldn't be anymore opposite and it has made for a very interesting learning curve but I love each and every minute.

Andrew turned 1 last night at 11:51 pm. Andrew and I slept through this momentous occasion....But gone are the baby bottles, the food restrictions, the rear facing car seat....and the babyhood...onto Toddlerhood...onto toilet training, talking, walking, and running....

Andrew is such a cautious, sensitive, and caring little boy. We are so lucky as parents to have two healthy children. Now I am the mom to two toddler boys....boy oh boy am I in for it...

Milestones are so bittersweet...I remember his birth like yesterday so innocent and helpless. He was soooo tiny!! Now he is big strapping toddler who is in the process of eating us out of house and home....Love fills our life and we can't wait to see what they grown up to be.

Count down is on

2009-01-12T10:08:00.000-05:00

Andrew is going to be 1 on Thursday....I am soooo sad. No more baby in the house (for now). Although seeing the two boys playing together is kind of making up for it. Hopefully before the end of the year we can have a plan about what to do about our housing situation (read: we are outgrowing our house)

I went out with the girls last night and had fun with adult conversations about our kids and life as a mom. I was glad to get out of the house for another reason than to work or grocery shop.

My exercising is kind of at a stand still...the snow is hindering my progress. I was not expecting snow today so I am really bummed about it....the weather forecast for this week is really really making me want to move south.

Bottle update: No bottle for the past few days...no complaints either...maybe I will clean them out of my cabinet today during nap time. On thursday we will turn the car seat around...as one more milestone is crossed.

Cheyenne started her list for next christmas....she wants no more siblings....too bad that is one present she will never get....I can guarantee they won't be here for christmas next year but I can promise that she will be getting more siblings...too bad so sad....lol. Her reasoning is that at 1 year old Matthew threw a car at her head....don't remember the incident but I guess it left an emotional scar that I am sure will need many years of therapy on her father's dime....

Oh well I am off to find where that poop smell is coming from (I have a pretty good idea)...

The 1st of Many

2009-01-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

here we are in the computer age where you share with everyone all you little secrets in a thing called a blog. Well here goes.

I am sitting here today hanging out with the boys while the burner guy cleans my burner. It is long long overdue but it was still putting out heat...you are supposed to have it cleaned once a year we have never had it cleaned and I don't know when my grandfather had...ooops.

so I have to work the next two nights till 2 am...yippee skippy...then I get sunday off and my week starts all over.....but this week will be shorter since I took thursday off for Andrew's birthday.

Andrew is walking, trying to talk, and becoming a great playmate for his big brother. They are starting to have so much fun together. He really missed Matthew when he went to school this week after having the holidays off. We are currently weaning him off the bottle which is turning into a real chore...minus 6 days till no more baba day.

Matthew is such a little helper with his mama's attitude. He is in constant motion. My couch is a trampoline the baby gates are jungle gyms...his baby brother is a wrestling partner whether he wants to be or not. He is fully potty trained and goes to school two days a week for half day.

Rich is working his butt off trying to get ahead at AMR. He seems to be doing really well but we still holding our breaths with this economy. He is still the little susie homemaker he was when we first got married and he handles the bulk of the house work. We are hoping to be able to go on some type of a vacation soon.

ME....I have started to exercise to get rid of this baby belly before I get pregnant again. I am mommy by day and Security by night. I recently cut one day out of my shift for now so I can be home with my family a little more...working 40 hours a week with two days off at different times in the week was getting tiring and I was starting to wonder why I was working so hard when I was missing out on the most important thing... family time. I can honestly say we don't have a lot of money but we get by and we are very very happy with our growing family.